Haunted Nights 1, March 3, 2007

One step, then another, and another
The cold breeze, the moisture
Everything so wonderful
With the moonlight, the grey sky
A shimmer, then a murmur, causing a shiver
The gloom contrasting superbly
On this ideal night

Then a flash, all strange, all real…

Visions of an orange door
Windows open, lights off
The atmosphere, all but chilling
Perspiration on my skin, humidity all over
And a book grabbed, without knowing why

Then silence, a perfect silence, perfection…

Crrr, Crrr, Crrr…
Crrr, Crrr, Crrr…

Ahead was a fog like barrier
Of pouring rain, so dense, hurting
I was just unable to breathe
One gasp, one, one, just one please
Nothing came in, nothing
Just like the feeling of drowning
But standing, not sinking, no

Then another vision of complete darkness…

With this now anguishing sound….

Crrr, Crrr, Crrr…
Crrr, Crrr, Crrr…

Feeling strangled, feeling numb, feeling nothing
My eyes closed, lungs willing to burst
I was there on my bed
A black book in one hand
Sweat all over me
Murmuring things in my head

“Help me, Help me, Help me mum, mum…”

No one came…
No one would…
As I was stunned, unable to speak
Not able to move, not able to open my eyes
Willing to cry, just willing, just

Then a sense of dizziness, optimism
My eyes open up, my body torn
And the cold air in my lungs, burning
And the thoughts in my mind, horrifying
And, and, and… the black book open
The strangling presence disappeared
Only I remained after all
Only I, before I fall again and again

 

Note: This is the first think I have written that didn’t came from my imagination! This was written only for me to illustrate to myself those strange nights I had, fearing the most unprobable! I still shiver while reading it as, I know the pain I have endured and how depressed & anxious I was!!! I just hope you will never know how it feels to be haunted nights after nights…

©2006-2007 ~wein

Erratic Thoughts 1, March 3, 2007

Unconditionally venerating past heroes, lost in gloom
Forgetfully dancing under the stars on a cold night
With their crowns withered by time passing endlessly
So who can remember, who can pull out a tear on their deeds

Bury them, in a golden grave, with red and white flowers

Your smile when I water flowers during a storm
The red in your eyes after those white nights studying
The tear on your cheek in the morning when you wake up
All so true compared to you anyway…

Like those little scars you once called kisses
With those big yellow hugs you gave me
Burning one, and another under the rain
Building my grave, going under with haste

Withering myself again and again after all…

What am I going to do after loosing my mind again?
In front of you, in front of the ones who let me down
Just stepping away from me each passing days
And as you are wrapping yourselves up with pride
I remain here, with tears, with sorrows, with doubts

With time we grow, with time we look grand
And you know, things never stay the same
So let’s rejoice when rain falls upon us
So let’s rejoice when we fall ill
And let’s rejoice when somehow… we fail and die!

I told you so… I told you so… again and again after all…

©2006-2007 ~wein