Oh no… 1, March 1, 2007

Here I lay on the ground
Just sobbing and inert
Thinking of better days
Wishing a better soul
Wishing for better days
While love is just stepping
When life is just fading
Where will I be in a while
Who might be with me?
When I fall, when I -
When I sink and fade?
Why is there a shiver?
When I feel your smile
Why is there a tear?
Late at night, alone
Or when I hear it…
The breeze of torture
Which once blew me
No, there is no time
For me to move in
For me to suffer once more
Cause I was once cured
Please let me live
Stop haunting mine
Even if it’s not yours
Not your fault…

©2005-2007 ~wein

Downward Flow 1, March 1, 2007

Still am hungry, still am thirsty
And my heart just keeps bouncing
An incurable disease of mine
Where I just keep reflecting
My own pain and sorrows

I just never thought about me
Never thought about success
And swallowed all my failures
Like blades down my throat
And sure it hurts, simply

I saw an old and lonely man
He said in a toneless voice
All he just wanted was simplicity
All he wanted was a true life
All he once had is just gone

I wanted to help, really
All was just worthless
All trials would be in vain
It had to be, it had to be
Relationships, humanity

I wanted to cry, to comfort
He told me the whole story
The perfect and worthless
The creations and destructions
All I had was mere compassion

A gentle touch on my shoulder
A familiar tone in his voice
Then a smile, wet eyes
An added pinch there
Just everything I knew

He was sad, he always was
He was lonely, always
But at a particular time
He had smiled and felt joy
Just like someone I knew

Or someone I thought I knew
So much ressemblances
With a known life, sadness
With a touch on the forehead
I just realised it was me…

©2005-2007 ~wein

Southwards to family 1, March 1, 2007

Southward we go, in the sun anyway
Where everything is green
Where other things are blue
Time, time, counts five
Whose resultant is ignorance

Watching this desert blue
Memories of battles still fresh
French, English, remains
English, French, blames
Hidden by modernity, there

Places I don’t recognise
Faces of fading joy
Thinking of what we were
Contrast of history
Brightness of a family

Oh, sorrow when you come
There everything is lame
Real human nature
With tears I wrote my fear
My fear of fate, southwards

©2006-2007 ~wein

Bruised State of Mind 1, March 1, 2007

Shrinking is the way I feel
Dazzled and unable to dream
When I fall, I just feel real
Crying and unable to speak
Like for broken promises
Grotesquely shattered

I could have been drunk
I just could have died
Out there, in the coldness
Of everyone’s heart
When all is just felt

We shall always remember
The taste of tears, sour
Pain, casted, all untamed
A perfect way to loose faith
All bitter and all lame

And as the smoke, raising
Taking my soul away
Making me feel great
All thanks to the pain
Sitting and crying anyway…

©2006-2007 ~wein

Bewilderment 1, March 1, 2007

For this ungraceful fate, what else had we left
Besides what did we knew?
Everyone is bleeding, bleeding their breeding
Bones blown, thrown, just sail alone
And thrones? Away heirs!

Determine, determine our responsibility
Determine, determine who is at fault
With a steady change, steady?
Stubborn steadiness there, at hand

Pretense to fail to stand by out of compassion
While profusion of crawlers, suckling, still
Waiting for some infectious providence
For I’ll give you my mind, mysteriously, Sir
Meanwhile you will be advised too
Watch out, for the sky falling straight ahead
Making your sole future bright, with sun as step door mate

Undermine, undermine our morality
For with no conflict, no sense to existence
Should everything make sense?
Undermine your soul, no selfishness

Shall we love our beloved humans for now!
A little speck there, a scar on another
Innate mathematical knowledge, differentiation
Life is much vivid, come on spit some more
For this grey rainbow, no care, no concern
Detached should it be, at least for humans

Divide, just divide with pride
Stabilizing integration? Please shut up your mind
Ride, Ride, it’s a rodeo drive
For I’ll laugh at your downfall

Please segregate, provoke, for the heck of it
Face off, face down, and never did you!
For grey will forever remain, drained

©2006-2007 ~wein

Grey Hell : for cure 1, March 1, 2007

We lived in the sky
We lived for the high
Of past traditions and faith
Of past lies, of past faith
The old and the new

All trapped were we,
And you walking away
Just as nothing, mockingly
Singing – we should be strong
Your back turned, shoulders up
Your sayings, all the faith we had
Vanished in some seconds

Business was just business
Our friendship was just business
In this world, be a winner or die
So let losers rot aside
The ones who contradicted
Just to make you realize

But we never realized
Simply believing on your sins
Agony to leadershipness
Our soul given, by laziness
And how does it feel now?
Being betrayed by pride
Too proud to be at fault once

So pass your way, break some others
Now that you are almost there
In the grey city of prestige
Of deep coldness, of indifference
Anyway, you will be healed
There, in the grey dull hell

 

©2006-2007 ~wein

Utter 1, March 1, 2007

Tears are invading me
Memories from the past, haunting me
We were such a perfect bond
So perfect, like breeze on a chime

Memories, memories, memories
On a monotonous rainy day
Grey, cold and humid
Sitting and feeling the weight
The one that no one dares to take
So much pain and so much grief
That no one seems to feel

And that ache just before
And those movements of despair
The coughs in the damp pillow
Stained by my tears
Seeing some smile far away
Hearing some laughter far away
Like a fading melancholic song

And why must we change?
All those crazy moments
Which were so real, so crude
But no one ever dare to remember
No one seem to, not even me
But today I recalled…

©2006-2007 ~wein

Giving Myself Away… 1, March 1, 2007

Life taught me to die, slowly, amusingly in agony
Taking each shot with a smile, fearlessly
Love taught me to hate others unconditionally
Building my own prison with my heart
And reason taught me to be proud, only proud

Granting others the pleasure to venerate
Letting them spit on me rationally…

Scars on my soul, scars in my mind
That will never fade away, significantly
And remain like a strident sound heard endlessly

But who is at fault for all my sorrows
And towards whom will my finger point
Who will be the subject of my lie
This time like all the others!

Lies taught me to to live on and on
Who I am really don’t matter anymore
Who I was really don’t matter anymore
All my faults are just forgotten
Erased by all my false memories

Pride taught me how to live in my world
Forged with virtual materials from my mind

Universe is not all around anymore
As universe is now me forever and more…

©2006-2007 ~wein

From Life To Death & Back… 1, March 1, 2007

Last night I saw a boy, so cute, always smiling, always laughing…

His hair always wet, playing under the rain
Full of charm and self-confidence
Always saying that one day he’ll be someone great
And loving every little thing unconditionally

Last night, I saw a corpse, or was it…

Lying on a bed, white and cold
Broken, unanimated, eyes open
With alcohol and pills in the veins
Perspiration on the forehead
Thinking of how hell might look like
With his life now to an end, or was it…

Last night I saw a guy, confident, loving and loved

With some kind of anguish on his face
With a bit of nostalgia always in his heart
With friends there to comfort him
With music there to help him
With words to express his feelings
With a question mark on his future

Last night I saw someone… puzzled
Calmly breaking himself again and again
Trying to sort out his uncertain past
As memories are somehow tricky
With self told lies mixing with reality
And the answer remaining unresolved…

Last night the memories of my death made me smile…

©2006-2007 ~wein

2005 Posted Poetry 1, March 1, 2007

• Pictures of My World

• …and Paradise